By: Mike Murphy, Supervisor of Alumni Providers

In case you’re like me, you hear issues like “You appear a lot happier” or “Life appears to be treating you fairly nicely, these days!” fairly often now that you simply’re in restoration. And whereas it’s true, and I genuinely respect the constructive consideration that’s being paid to my life; it jogs my memory of a part of a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien : “All that’s gold doesn’t glitter.” Let me clarify why.

With issues like social media at our fingertips all through each waking second of our lives, it may be very straightforward to dwell superficially and to take issues solely at face worth. To which I’m undoubtedly responsible of. Additionally, in case you’re like me, you are inclined to solely submit the constructive stuff happening in your life for all of the world to see (relying in your privateness settings, after all). After we do that, nearly all of the individuals have a tendency to only assume all the things is peachy eager and that by some means, you’re invincible to the occasional unhealthy day. Or days. Whereas the reward of restoration has been great in some ways for me, it undoubtedly doesn’t warrant off the low days. 

Not too long ago, I went via a kind of low intervals. It simply occurs. There actually isn’t any clarification or motive for it. For all intents and functions, life is fairly freaking rad. I like the place I dwell. Not solely simply my condominium, however the space, as nicely. My household and pals? Nice. My circle is certainly smaller than it was, however that’s factor. Job? Like it. Not solely do I get to assist others, however I get to offer again to the place that gave me a lot. My Restoration? Nonetheless going robust. May very well be higher in some areas, I’ll admit. However, nonetheless doing the factor. Love life? Yeah. Not a lot has modified since I wrote final years, “Go House Cupid You’re Drunk” weblog. I’m nonetheless engaged on myself. Like, so much. Not less than that’s what I’m going to inform myself. So what provides?

“Michael. Among the best elements about being sober, is you begin to really feel once more. And one of many worst elements about being sober, is that you simply begin to really feel once more.”

No, this isn’t one other Tolkien quote. That is from an outdated timer named Jim at my homegroup. Jim instructed me this once I was model new to the room and it nonetheless holds fact to today. However now I can sit with my emotions and course of them. In contrast to a couple years again? I might’ve drank these emotions away. In any case, that was the reply to all the things. Feeling too good? Drink about it. Feeling low? Drink about it. Feeling meh? Drink about it. You get the image. 

The most important distinction between these low days of earlier than and the low days of now? I don’t obsess over them. I don’t overanalyze why I’m having this unhealthy day/week. I make the most of the instruments I’ve picked up alongside the best way and journey it out. I attempt to determine what I have to do, or cease doing, to assist get previous this. And as loopy because it sounds? If I simply do that, it tends to work itself out. 

The opposite evening, whereas within the midst of this funk I used to be in; one thing occurred. I don’t understand how else to explain it aside from a second of readability. I had simply made dinner, cleaned up and was on the point of watch TV (most likely one other true crime doc) and out of the nook of my eye, I observed the candle I had burning within the kitchen and I discovered myself observing it. Subsequent factor I knew, I used to be simply observing it and smiling. One thing came visiting me as if to say “It’s gonna be alright. Take a look at how far you’ve come.”

That was it. That little flicker of a candle to remind me that it’s not all so unhealthy. That that is life and never all the things is all the time going to be superb. And that’s okay. Whether or not you’re in restoration or not, in case you have a pulse, you’re entitled to having your down moments. All of us do. It’s all in how we select to deal with them. 

Thanks for studying this. With out you even realizing it, writing these helps get me via these occasions and people emotions. Additionally, don’t ever belief the individual that says they don’t really feel issues. These are the sorts of people who go on to have TV reveals made about them that in flip, individuals like me watch.