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Hi friends, how are you feeling about the end of the year?
My life has been going great. I’m taking my sobriety day by day and enjoying life to the fullest. Most of my energy has been concentrated on book projects and podcasting, although I took a break from it all for the last six months. Now I feel a bit embarrassed to come back, like I went out for milk and didn’t come back, but it felt so good to be fully involved in my life.
It is important to find time for a break, even though this time of year can be difficult for people in any stage of recovery. People in the first year of sobriety may have several months of sobriety, but they may not be prepared for the extra demands of family gatherings, financial pressures, social expectations, and other stressors that could disrupt their routines and invite a relapse. After a few years in recovery, people have a better idea of how to manage these extra challenges. Nevertheless, sobriety does not make life free of ups and downs, so some years will be better than others.I have noticed that the same message has a different meaning for me each year.
An perception that felt profound and highly effective at one stage of my restoration may barely give me pause a year or two later, maybe as a result of I’ve included the concept into my mindset, or grown previous it, or tried it and realized it wasn’t for me. Have you ever had this expertise?
At first, some ideas may seem unrelated, but they can become meaningful later on. Brene Brown talks about how a “shame identity” can stop us from engaging with certain ideas. For example, I always resisted looking into managing my anxiety symptoms, even when two doctors recommended it. I insisted I was stressed, not anxious, and felt there was an important distinction (stress was for the strong, and anxiety was for the weak). Additionally, I thought that being uptight, hyper-aware, guarded, and reactive was working for me. I got a lot done and received lots of praise for what I achieved. I viewed anxiety as shameful, so I pushed the idea away and reinterpreted my symptoms as positives.
After 10 years, with a bit of help and sobriety, I was able to change my thinking and recognize my anxiety.Therefore, take a look at my travel survival tips below, even if you have heard them before. You and the people around you are in a unique place. An old idea may take on a new meaning.
HOLIDAY TIP #1 – It is okay to say no. Remember this. The world will not end if you decline an invitation, even if the person you care about is disappointed with your decision.
HOLIDAY TIP #2 – Being sober does not mean you have to be the designated driver for everyone who is drinking. It’s best to arrange your own transportation so you can leave when you want to. If you are going out with a friend or partner, talk about this before you go and make a plan (for example, arrive together but leave separately).
HOLIDAY TIP #3 – Bring your own drinks. If you are lucky, the host might be one of those amazingly considerate people who provide a great selection of non-alcoholic options for those who don’t drink. But don’t count on it. Bring along a few cans of sparkling water or your preferred beverage in a bag, just in case. There’s nothing worse than having to get a kid’s juice box because no one thought to have alternatives.
HOLIDAY TIP #4 –
Bring some protein. Even though meals is usually plentiful at holiday gatherings, it usually has lots of sweets. To prevent cravings for alcohol, it is better to eat something sweet and enjoyable, but protein is even better because it helps to keep blood sugar levels stable. Carry a small bag of trail mix in your pocket or bag in case the buffet doesn’t have the right snacks.
HOLIDAY TIP #5 – Provide some support, either in person or online. Are there people at the event who understand and support you in staying sober? Can someone take you away from an uncomfortable situation, get you a refill of your chosen drink, or give you a wink if you need it? If not, can you bring a friend who can do this for you? If you’re alone, you should reach out to an online support group or a friend to text if you need help. Let them know beforehand that you’ll be attending the party and that you’ll check in with them to let them know how it went.
HOLIDAY TIP #6 –Keep your hopes in check. People here on this blog in the early days taught me an old recovery gem: expectations are resentments waiting to happen. Do you have expectations for the evening? That your family will behave perfectly, or that a certain relative will be critical, or that the special day will bring some special kind of joy? Are you rigid about customs? Expectations can come in two different coats. Anticipation feels positive and optimistic, dread feels negative and gloomy; both are expectations in disguise. It’s okay to feel these things, as long as you are aware of them and understand how they can contribute to hurt feelings if things don’t turn out as you imagined.
HOLIDAY TIP #7 – Take breaks. When you really feel overwhelmed, discover a quiet spot away from the gang. You may go to a restroom and run your palms beneath cool water, or step exterior and breath within the recent air. Some prefer to pop into the kitchen and wash a couple of dishes, others favor crashing the youngsters’ social gathering for a hand of Uno or to look at a couple of minutes of
HOLIDAY TIP #8 – Have a reward ready at dwelling. Earlier than you exit to an occasion, go away just a little prize or reward to rejoice returning dwelling sober. Realizing {that a} aromatic bathtub bomb and a pair of cozy pajamas await you at dwelling generally is a comforting thought as you maneuver a night out.
Going back home can be a bit depressing after a fun event. But, if you plan ahead and bring something special with you, like a special ice cream treat from the freezer or a couple of episodes of your favorite show, it can make it easier to leave. Having something to look forward to when you get home can turn it into a mini-celebration that you can enjoy after a successful night out.
HOLIDAY TIP #9 –If you are involved in hosting duties, do not deal with alcohol. When I was washing dishes after a gathering, I was surprised to see a tray of empty wine glasses being brought in for rinsing, some with wine still in them. The smell was strong and on a normal day, it might not be an issue. But at the end of a party, when I was tired and not paying attention, it left me feeling emotional. I dried my hands and asked my daughter-in-law to take over. Alcohol can be unexpected, so if someone hands you a bottle to pour drinks, it is wise to save your energy for something else. Have a support person with you in case they need to take over.If not, delegate the job to another person and assist the place you may. It’s okay to politely set a boundary round dealing with alcohol.
HOLIDAY TIP #10 –Make sure to tell others about your successes! Let your sober friends know how you are dealing with the holidays and share what worked for you. Find places to exchange ideas and experiences, either online or in person. Comment on this blog (anonymously if you prefer!) if you don’t have other places to engage with non-drinkers. It really helps to connect with people who understand, and your experiences will help others more than you know (including me!).
